“I want it all and I want it now.”
Freddy Mercury first sang the iconic line in 1989 and to this day when I hear it I feel inspired to pursue all my goals. All at once.
The greatest hindrance to this is we all have a finite amount of time and most people cannot work on their creative dreams all the time. You have rent or a mortgage to pay. You have to put food on the table. You have to save because who wants to live cheque to cheque. Maybe you even have children or a family to support.
So you work a day job. It eats up your peak creative hours when your brain is the most proactive (and for most people that is mornings according to studies) so you are already drained when it is time to work on your own stuff. Or you run a production company, you serve clients, you work in the field you enjoy, but adjacent to what you really want to be doing – creating your own work instead of videos for others. You freelance, write, edit, shoot, you crew on productions. The work is inconsistent, you hassle, you network, and then it all gets shut down anyway because 2020. What a year.
But even in better years there have always been those jobs you know in your heart you shouldn’t take but your mind says I need the money or it may lead to future work. The time wasters. The lowballers. The clients who demand strawberry sundaes but don’t have any strawberries for the recipe.
There is power in saying no. Your time is valuable and by saying no to those jobs that don’t value it, you free up more time for your own work. Or, if you are like me, you get a day job to take care of the cost of living and build up savings and security.
There is comfort in having something to fall back on but just the other day I said no to that comfort.
I left my day job. Prior to that I couldn’t go to work for two months due to COVID-19, and in that time at home I became used to focusing completely on work for Nexus. It is what I want to do with my life anyway. So the natural progression was to quit my day job and keep doing what I am doing now. Waking up every day, working on Nexus, working on our films.
There is even more power in that particular “no”. The power of saying no to the easy path, no to complacency, no to watching your life drift by working for someone else. And saying yes to your dreams, yes to backing yourself, yes to taking a chance that you can make your passion your everyday income. Living without a safety net.
Yet now there is another no I am facing. The need to say no to myself.
A course we are taking at the moment about film financing teaches to focus on only one project at a time. It was a lesson that really got me thinking. Our society seems built on being busy busy. We pride ourselves on multi-tasking, on always having so much work to do we are almost overwhelmed, on having multiple projects and responsibilities to juggle all at once.
Even celebrities endorse this lifestyle. When I was growing up in Australia I used to watch Eddie McGuire be omnipresent. He was the president of a television network, the president of a football club, a breakfast radio host, a television presenter, a football commentator, a newspaper columnist all at the same time.
And when it comes to film, conventional producer wisdom teaches we have to have multiple projects ready to go at once too. Yet are we doing a disservice to ourselves and our work by splitting our time so much?
Even now, with time seemingly on my side, I still find myself juggling so much and overwhelmed each morning with where to begin and what to tackle for the day. I still need to make money. So I need to plan educational courses, film and edit and market, or repurpose existing courses for new platforms. I have old films I’m preparing to pitch to new platforms, which means adding closed captions, redrafting artwork, fixing errors in trailers and film files and re-exporting. I’m also filming stock footage, editing, uploading, adding metadata.
Then there is In Corpore, a feature that is done, but we are currently confused as in how to release it. Our original plan was to do a cinema release in July in New York but that is no longer possible. So now we are looking into virtual screenings, Zoom Q&As, and trying to navigate a new world in film distribution that has the entire industry uncertain. We are also trying to engage an audience for In Corpore, build a following in the niche the film explores, namely polyamory. But spending time online in forums and chats cultivating an audience, though essential work if we want a successful release, is draining and time-consuming work.
We are filming a documentary called Cats of Malta. Going out, grabbing footage, organising interviews, researching, editing the footage we have. We are continuing our Life Improvised series and have filmed two new episodes while stuck at home and are now planning another with restrictions easing in Malta. They will need to be edited and released.
Then there are four features currently in development. Two, Machination and To Hold the Moon, are written. The latter we are trying to find finance for and getting stuck into the world of finance plans and budgets and tax rebates. It is tedious work. Machination is ready to film, a no budget thriller about a woman going crazy in the pandemic, but we still need to schedule, cast, prep. “When” is a question we haven’t answered yet.
And I am currently writing two features about solo female travellers, one set in Vietnam, one set in Malta. Every day I like to write, and my best and most creative time is in the morning. But what task do I choose to devote my most productive time to each day?
Oh, and a feature I produced back in Australia called Choir Girl is currently going through an aggregator for placement on AppleTV and there are ongoing issues to fix with the film, ongoing communication with the aggregator and the post production team, plus preparation for a rebate application with Screen Australia. More paperwork that needs to be done. Yay.
So how does one cut back when I want to see all these projects to fruition? How does one choose to focus on only one?
I certainly have my share of abandoned projects. I would call it a Gemini thing but I think we all do. I once shot an entire musical when I was first starting out in film but never finished the edit. It became too complicated, too expensive, and I knew I had bitten off more than I could chew. I also filmed a pilot for a reality television series about op shopping but could never finish the edit either – I couldn’t find the story in the hours and hours of footage we had. And how many scripts, plans, ideas have I written that will never see the light of day?
Which of my current projects will be abandoned? If I put it aside, will I return to it?
These questions gnaw at me, but I know I can’t keep juggling so many things in the air at once and expect not to drop the ball. I can’t split my attention so much and expect every project to thrive.
So I am trying to say no to myself. No, I can’t work on everything every day. No, I can’t start that project until I finish this project. I am giving myself limits, searching for a routine that works, dividing my time to maximise efficiency. Currently, I am experimenting with this routine to make each day productive and manageable:
Wake up and take a couple of hours for myself before even thinking about any work. Coffee, meditation, reading, walking. I need this time to maintain health and balance.
When I do get into work, I start with something creative, writing or editing, whatever requires my peak brain power and output. At the moment it is working on a PDF booklet to accompany our How Improv Can Improve your Filmmaking course on Gumroad.
At around noon I do the admin and business tasks I find tedious but know need to be done. I check and answer emails, do paperwork, check socials and forums and engage with the audience we are trying to build for our films.
After lunch I do lighter editing, sorting footage for the cat documentary, doing an assembly edit, or compiling behind the scenes footage. I am tired by this point so I make sure it is nothing overly intensive.
And in the evening, when Sarah returns from work, we do an online course together and then I do secondary tasks like writing a scene for one of those feature outlines. If I was tired before I am drained now so I know what I write will be rough but it is the first draft so it can be rough. Or I work on preparing the assets from one of our old films to send out to more platforms via Filmhub. Or I read the script for To Hold the Moon. Again, only one task each evening until it is done before I move onto the next.
I have only been experimenting with this routine for a couple of weeks now and for the most part it does increase my productivity and focus throughout the day. But I do slip sometimes. I still occasionally try to do too many different tasks in a day and end up frustrated at night, feeling like I haven’t accomplished enough. But habits take constant repetition to establish so I will keep trying. Remind myself to say “no”. To finish projects before moving onto the next. Routine, focus, balance.
I want it all.
But I need it in moderation.
Written by Ivan Malekin.