In 2019 we jumped into developing our biggest feature film ever, To Hold the Moon, a LGBTQ drama set in Malta budgeted at €225,000. It takes two characters established in Friends, Foes & Fireworks, aspiring actors Summer and Lucinda, and explores their relationship two years later. Lucinda is dealing with new found fame as an actor and sexual abuse in the industry while Summer is ignored by the same industry and struggling to find work. Afraid their relationship is stagnating, Summer follows Lucinda to a film shoot in Malta and attempts to revitalize their relationship, but both women need to face harsh truths about their love and life.
We filmed a concept teaser with Whitney Duff and Asleen Mauthoor while we were visiting Melbourne that year, created a poster for the production, then went back to Malta with pitch materials in hand, all set to find funding for the film and go into production ASAP.
We even spent thousands to sign up to a course about how to attract film investors. We teamed up with a prominent producer in Malta, Martin Bonnici, to help get the film off the ground. We prepared a pitch deck, treatment, did multiple drafts of the story outline, even wrote a script as the funding stream we wanted to apply for via the Malta Film Commission wouldn’t accept the usual story outlines we use for our improvised films.
Things were rolling along. We were excited. We were enjoying the process of putting To Hold the Moon together, confident we could find the money, secure a production grant, take the film from development to production.
But it didn't happen.
Concept poster for To Hold the Moon
And three years later we are no closer to greenlighting To Hold the Moon. In fact, it feels like we have gone backwards, slipped further away from producing the film than that flurry of activity in 2019.
We never did make an application to the Malta Film Commission. They typically hold two funding rounds per year. We didn't make the deadline for the first round, but thought no worries, we'll wait for the second round. Well, in 2019, that second round never happened. The MFC didn't have enough money left over to open applications again.
But while waiting for that phantom second round, Martin pulled out to focus on his own film he wanted to produce and direct. We continued on alone, following the investing course and pitching people we thought were potential funders. Nobody responded positively. We did make one application to the MFC, but for a short film grant. It was the only funding option open in late 2019. So we took a part of the outline from To Hold the Moon and wrote a short film, thinking we could use the short as more proof of concept for the feature. We pitched the project; we were rejected.
We were also rejected for other pitches we made to mentorship and pitching contests at film festivals. Then, in 2021, we learnt Asleen had given up acting to focus on a full-time career in London. Producer gone, actor gone, pitches rejected, investors not interested. To Hold the Moon is stuck in development hell.
It is a difficult position to be in. You get swept up in the excitement of a brand new project, buzz with creativity, envision the beautiful shots and locations on screen, craft the story to the point you know it is worth telling. But it leads nowhere.
So how do you deal with this failure? How do you handle development hell?
Realize You are Not Alone
This is the first thing and it is important. You are far from alone. For every successful project, there are hundreds of screenplays that were never made. Almost every filmmaker has a sad story about that dream project that never happened.
Stanley Kubrik spent decades preparing for Napoleon, an epic historical drama covering the life of the French leader, but studios bulked at funding the film when another expensive historical movie, Waterloo, flopped in 1970. Kubrick kept talking about making Napoleon throughout his lifetime, hoping he would find a way, but it never happened.
Then there are other projects – like Alejandro Jodorowsky's Dune, adaption attempts of Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian, the comic A Confederacy of Dunces (which Hollywood has been trying to adapt for forty years) which are infamous could-have-beens.
So you are far from alone. If you can’t take solace in that, at least know failure to launch a production is nothing to be ashamed about. It happens to some of the best and biggest filmmakers in the world.
Don't Give Up Hope
The Man Who Killed Don Quixote is one of the most famous examples of development hell
Sometimes, films go through development hell but manage to pull themselves out and get made. One of the most famous examples is The Man Who Killed Don Quixote by Terry Gilliam. Based on the novel by Miguel de Cervantes, Gilliam started work on the film adaption in 1989 but was unable to secure funding until 1998. Shooting began in 2000, but a freak storm destroyed the set and equipment, and when they attempted to resume production an injury to lead actor Jean Rochefort led to filming being suspended and ultimately cancelled.
Gilliam attempted to relaunch the project eight separate times with no success. Then, in 2017, it was announced production was finally completed. After almost thirty years of development hell, Terry Gilliam had finally made his film.
So don't give up hope. If you maintain passion about your story and tenacity to see it completed, you still have a chance of success. Bleak as it may seem, we haven't given up on To Hold the Moon either. Only recently, we have begun reaching out to new Maltese producers about teaming up on the project. Who knows where a simple enquiry may lead?
Reevaluate
I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Perhaps your project failed because it wasn't the right time yet. You were not ready. The story wasn't quite right. Or there is another project that you need to do first before the cards line up or you meet the right people to make that dream film.
Failure gives you time to reassess. What went wrong? Is the story really as good as it can be? Maybe you need to strip back your story so it can be made at a smaller budget?
Going back to The Man Who Killed Don Quixote example, Gilliam's original story involved time-travelling from the 21st century to the 17th century, but as the script was reworked over the years, the time travel element was removed, altering the story significantly, and according to Gilliam, making the film much richer.
So take the time to rethink your film. We are doing the same with To Hold the Moon, evaluating what works and what doesn't with that new perspective that only comes after you let time pass. And a new perspective often leads to new ideas.
Move On
Sometimes a project simply isn't meant to be. Sometimes the story doesn't work or the numbers don't add up. Certainly, when we looked at the comparable films for To Hold the Moon, we found that no LGBTQ film at a similar budget actually made its money back. So to attract funding for the project, we would need to either decrease the budget or find investors who were philanthropic rather than driven purely by potential returns.
But if a film makes no business sense, or even if it does and you are simply not passionate about the story any longer, there is no shame in walking away.
There are other projects to make. There are other stories to write. That is the beautiful thing about filmmaking – inspiration can strike at any time and suddenly you are excited and rolling into production on a brand new idea. Screenwriter Matt Lieberman sums it up beautifully:
“As a writer you have something that a lot of professions in this industry don’t have, which is the ability to generate work and content. If one of your ideas doesn’t connect, go out and write the next one.”
If money is the roadblock that has you stuck in development hell, as it often is, then make something else at a smaller budget. We are big advocates of this. We operate in the micro-budget space and prefer using our own money for our films so we can maintain full control, don't owe anyone returns, and get a bigger slice of the sales. But we do acknowledge some films simply cannot be told properly with a micro-budget, such as To Hold the Moon. That doesn’t mean we’ll sit on our hands while waiting for money to come in. We’ve released or filmed four feature films since 2019 plus an entire web series and our careers are better off for it. So even if To Hold the Moon is never made; we are still going to keep making films. We’ll be okay.
And so will you. Development hell may be disheartening, but failure is part of the filmmaking process. Learn from it, grow from it. But don’t let it define who you are as a filmmaker.
Written by Ivan Malekin
References
18 Amazing-sounding Movies that were Never Made into Finished Films
Confederacy Of Dunces: The Movie Hollywood Has Been Trying To Make For 40 Years
“I hate making movies!”: Terry Gilliam on his Cursed Don Quixote Adaptation